just die

Psalm 116:12-16
How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD.
I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people.
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

i read this the other night and was totally caught off guard by that last verse. i was into the lifting the cup of salvation and fulfilling my vows and the Lord's goodness. and then...God likes it when His people die???

and then...the thinking began. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." "He must increase, but I must decrease."

i heard it said that dead men don't worry about being embarrassed or hurt. they don't seek their own gain. uh, yeah, they're dead.

this is probably the hardest lesson that i'm still learning. i just wish i could learn it and move on, but for some reason i keep coming around this mountain. my silly pride or sense of entitlement or personal fulfillment rise up and i have to beat them back down. and it always happens just when i think i'm getting somewhere.

just die. no matter what i'm doing or who i'm serving or where i'm at, just die. God sees and considers it something of value. just die. i'm building equity in Heaven.