deeper

there is so much in me, i feel like i could bust. so many songs waiting to come out, so much desire and hope for my wife & girls, so much more praise and worship, so many things i need to do. it's so frustrating to know there is so much more but not know quite how to work it all out or where or when or...

Anne Giminez from Rock Church stirred it all up last Sunday night. i was doing so good at keeping my head down and just serving and not really thinking about my "calling" but then she spoke on calling and i had to start thinking.

i know i'm called for music and worship, i'm just not seeing the full outworking of that right now. don't get me wrong, i'm happy to have the opportunity to serve and sing and play and lead. but there's a deeper groaning. something else i'm to be doing that i'm not.

so i wait. listening. serving. learning. trusting.

simplicity

We saw an interesting play last weekend - The Boys Next Door. it was about 4 mentally challenged guys living together. the money line was by their counselor who checks in with them - "i change, the world changes, they don't change." everything was so simple, so basic for them.

i write that to create a huge opposite picture of how government works in recent times. Everything is an emergency and there is crisis upon crisis upon crisis. it's almost like the thinking is "if we hit them with everything at once with amps set on 11 we're bound to get some of it past them."

it's numbing and after a while i don't think we even recognize a true crisis. we're so jaded and caloused to a life where all news is "BREAKING" or tv is non-stop cliff-hangers or movies are a 2 hour blast of sound, adventure, explosions, stunts and action. How do we even sleep anymore?

Gary Skinner from Watoto Church in Uganda was at our church last weekend talking about the need for reaching out to HIV/AIDS orphans, child soldiers and the misplaced victims of a decades long war. there was no bright red banners or tears or cries for "the world will end." he is just an amazing man serving an Amazing God telling a story of need in a very needy part of the world. the simplicity of the presentation was more powerful than walls of sound and screams of need.

after the great & powerful wind, earthquake & fire there came a gentle whisper. are we too busy, too numb, too deaf to hear the still small voice that calls us to a simple faith? James 1:27 says: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

confession time

OK, bit of brutal, heart-on-the-sleeve honesty here.

these have been 3 or 4 of the toughest years of my life yet God is still amazing and i'm truly in awe of Him.

We came back to the states after a couple of years of Bible college @ Hillsong with huge plans and dreams to take all this vision and faith and life and bloom wherever we planted. Wave Church is an amazing church with ties to Hillsong and is truly a world-changing church so we planted there.

But then life hit. Vision and faith and life are hard things to keep fresh without hard work and diligence. i have a tendency to get caught up in the day-to-day and you can't keep a Kingdom perspective easily when focusing on all the mundane daily details. don't get me wrong, those are important, but not as important.

i've heard that we are moving forward faith to faith. i thot that meant life was an incline - it was hard but you keep moving up and up to the next level. i'm finding my life is more like stairs with some that take some serious scaling to get up and others that go on for miles until the next one up comes. yes, i'm moving forward, but sometimes it's uphill in peanut butter.

my greatest fear is mediocrity and right now i feel like i'm fighting that big time. it's easy for me to see potential and greatness in all those around me - in creative, in my cell, my friends and family and especially Brook and the girls. i'm just not feeling it in me. and right now i'm fighting to trump my feelings with my faith. i AM more than a conquerer. i AM the head and not the tail. greater is He that IS in me than he that's in the world.

i'm thinking it's pride. i'm not where i think i should be and so it plays on me. i don't have the tight friends like i've had in the past and it plays on me. i'm not contributing as much as i would love to and it plays on me. i, i , i, me, me, me...you'd think i'd be waaaaaay past all this by now, but i guess another trip around the desert is needed to work this out.

ok, time to read and renew my mind and think on things above...

Can 2010 come fast enough?

i heard interesting commentary yesterday about ditching any congress-person who voted yes for raising taxes to get us out of this slump; anyone who voted for the TARP; anyone who voted for the Cap and Tax bill; anyone who votes for this Health Care monster...i think i'm liking that philosophy.

These are all things that we were/are told HAVE to be passed yesterday or the consequences will be so harmful to America and the world...yet reports are coming in now that we might not be as bad off if they hadn't passed the "stimulus" pkg...hmmmm.

i'm tired of lifelong politicians who only want power and prestige and don't really care about what their constituents want or what is best for the country. we're starting to see polls that say 54-56% of Americans don't think government should run healthcare. but government seems laser-locked on passing some sort of legislation for it.

can we get back to a hands-off approach for a while? let Americans do what we do. when given freedom to choose, we do pretty well. let us choose what kind of cars we want, what we want to do for schooling our kids, what we want to do with our money, what doctor we want to go to, who we want to govern us. between the media and government, most of those choices are being made for us.

Patrick Henry said “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government - lest it come to dominate our lives and interests.”

Summertime

i love summer. i love the heat and humidity and storms and sunshine and mowing and grilling and yardwork.

summer is a strange time in the church. it's a time of vacations and long daylight hours which tend to cut down on attendance. but it's also a time of camps and conferences which add to the spiritual level.

my church, Wave Church, always has a summer offensive where we set a goal for number of decisions for Christ in the summer months. when other churches back off, we go forward - i love that!!

we also have our Wave Conference Aug 5-7th. do what you can to be here. it's going to be Amazing! Ed Young, Jentezen Franklin, Joel Houston, Steve Kelly...you don't want to miss it.

i love summer!!

Idol Thots 2Ap09

i really truly thought Anoop would be gone before Megan. I thought all those who voted for Taylor Hicks to be the American Idol would keep Megan on. She pretty much knew that it was her night to go and seemed almost relieved. Her attitude had gotten a bit weird and almost flippant over the last few weeks. I really like the uniqueness of her voice and think there is a place for her in biz, she just needs some good management to guide and direct her.

The results show are starting to really disturb me. The hokey sing-along, the latest hot performer, the faux drama of the "judge's save" is all a bit to ratings driven for me. i don't mind the "older" idols coming back to sing, but they could make this thing a 15 minute show if they really wanted to.

Next week is Songs from Your Birth Year - so pretty much 80's night. i love the 80's.

Idol Thots 1Ap09

I'm officially calling last night's American Idol "Hair Night" after all the different hair styles. It was Top Downloads night and it doesn't get anymore wide open than that.

OK, let's do a little recap:
Anoop sang Usher's "Caught Up." If it wasn't for his funky grimace, i was totally bored. It looked like he was smelling something funky all thru the song. it was a little flat and the song itself didn't go anywhere. the judges called it safe, an utter mess and a wannabe.

Megan started the Hair Night portion with some funky braids going all over her head and chose Bob Marley/Lauren Hill's "Turn Your Lights Down Low." Wow, another boring performance. she just stood center stage at the mic and until the last tiny bit when she started adding some runs, it was BORING! i'm still a Megan fan, but she really needs to pick it up if she gets the chance.

Danny finally officially started the show with Rascal Flatts "What Hurts the Most." Danny had been in Wisconsin for a few days for his grandfather's funeral, but i appreciate the fact that didn't come up in his pre-performance interview or tape. He pretty much nailed the song. Great voice, great energy, great passion. a bit flat in a few places, but overall very strong.

Allison continued the Hair Night with some kind of wild teasing and retro bow thing and a brighter shade of fushia than normal. She choose "Don't Speak" by No Doubt and even pulled out her "axe" for the beginning of the song. She went a bit flat and got kinda shouty, but still has "chops." she took serious heat for her outfit but the judges didn't say much about her performances

Scott kept Hair Night alive with a rockin 80's mullet and black collarless leather jacket. He got to perform one of his idol's - Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are." OK...top downloads?? His piano playing was great, vocal was better than he has been lately. i thot the song was terribly slow and dragging but the judges loved it and heaped praise on him.

Matt took on The Fray's "You Found Me" and tried way too hard. The guy is talented but that trip to the bottom three last week really got to him and it was hard to watch him try so hard. the judges called it "forced", "sound alike" and "put on." he also rocked some poofier hair to participate in Hair Night.

Lil followed with the big diva "I Surrender" by Celine Dion. She kept the Hair Night going with a little flat bob. Flat and trying too hard. the judges called it "safe", "wedding" and "old fashioned."

And Hair Night continued with a great Eddie Munster do sported by Adam Lambert. He did a fun version of Wild Cherry's "Play that Funky Music." it was fun but a bit shouty. Paula compared him to Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler. i wish he wouldn't go right to the rock scream thing but it was a great arrangement of a classic party song.

Kris finished up the night with a bang! He did a very current version of "Ain't no Sunshine When She's Gone" that i loved. His voice was so on - every note was solid and he even played piano this week. Simon called it "confident, clever and cool."

Top perfomances: Kris, Adam and Danny
Bottom: Anoop, Megan, Matt or possibly Lil

Thots?